Is Your Relationship Toxic?
(By Laura Wood, Photo by Dmitry Ratushny on Unsplash)
Relationships are usually a large part of life. We have friends, family, work, professional, and romantic relationships. These relationships can run the gamut from normal/healthy to abusive. Have you ever wondered if the relationship you are in is healthy or not?
A healthy relationship is a relationship where parties are equal and have mutual respect. The individuals have the ability to compromise and navigate conflict successfully. There may be topics that divide the relationship but those involved can agree to disagree. In this type of relationship there is a fair amount of active listening going on and a good line of open communication.
A difficult relationship is a relationship where there may be some strong differing values/morals/political beliefs. Those involved may have different styles of communication. A hallmark of a difficult relationship is trouble finding common ground or having little in common to draw on. There is, however, the desire to have open communication and to work on issues to improve the bond.
A toxic relationship is where there is no respectful conflict. There is an issue which becomes a repeated pattern of behavior, such as breaking up with someone and then getting back together with them a short time later. The toxic members withhold information and may weaponize it. Constant criticism and contempt are often observed. Lack of trust in one or all parties involved.
An abusive relationship is marked by being put into dangerous situations. The person doing the abuse may be limiting resources - whether emotional, physical, or financial. Often there is unwanted or forced sexual interactions. The relationship has a huge power differential and is marked by the abuse cycle. (click here for more info on the abuse cycle)
Below are some questions you can ask yourself to see if you or someone you know is in a toxic relationship.
· Is there continuous disrespect?
· Do those involved mutually avoid each other or have the reaction of “oh no here comes _____.”
· Is there a lack of support?
· Are there control issues?
· Does the drama never end?
· Do you feel you have to act fake to avoid confrontation?
· Are you keeping score of who has done what to whom?
· Do you feel you cannot do anything right?
These are just a few questions you can ask when it comes to figuring out if you are in a toxic relationship. Once you have figured out that you are in a toxic relationship, you may find it helpful to seek some guidance in how to set boundaries or figure out if this is a relationship you want to stay in. As always, we are happy to help!
