Finding the Right Therapist

How do you know when life is too much? Do you become overwhelmed, irritated, or depressed? When this happens it is a great idea to ask for help - but finding the right therapist can be a challenge. What are some things you should look for? What are some warning signs? Is it ok to shop around? What is with all these different terms? CBT, DBT, ACT, EMDR…what does it all mean?

Below is a short explanation of some things to look for in a therapist and some terms to be familiar with.

First and most importantly, find someone who you can feel comfortable with. You are going to be telling your therapist things about yourself maybe you didn’t even know were an issue. Make sure you feel safe, supported, and comfortable.

There is nothing wrong with asking about the therapist’s background. Ask about their trainings, their internships, if they are a member of any professional organizations, what they think is helpful about therapy. These things will help you gain insight into whether the therapist is going to be on the same wavelength as you, or if they will have trainings pertinent to your specific issues. Talking about these things will also let you know their theoretical orientations.

Theoretical orientation does not mean religion; it means what theory or school of thought the therapist comes from and how they view the therapy process. You can research what they all mean but here are some common schools of thinking:

CBT-Cognitive Behavioral Therapy aims to help people become aware of when they make negative interpretations, and of behavioral patterns which reinforce the distorted thinking. It focuses on your thoughts more than anything else.

DBT- Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is a type of cognitive behavioral therapy.  It tries to identify and change negative thinking patterns and pushes for positive behavioral changes. It goes beyond regular CBT by teaching ways to work with strong emotions.

EMDR- Eye Movement Desentization and Reprocessing shows that the mind can in fact heal from psychological trauma much as the body recovers from physical trauma. This therapy uses bilateral stimulation (sound, therapy tappers, or eye movements) to connect both sides of the brain, and to help memories get integrated in new ways.

ACT- Acceptance and Commitment therapy. This can be used with individuals, couples and groups, both as a brief therapy or long-term therapy, in a wide range of client challenges. It uses an eclectic mix of metaphor, paradox, and mindfulness skills, along with a wide range of experiential exercises and values-guided behavioral interventions.

(from www.psychotherapy.net)

It is important to keep in mind that not every type of therapy works for everyone. If you’ve tried therapy in the past and didn’t find it helpful, a different therapist or a different style of therapy might be exactly what you need. Most therapists pull from at least a few different theoretical orientations, so you can even ask your current therapist to try something else.

What if you don’t like the therapist? What if their style doesn’t fit you? That’s ok! Therapists will understand and can help you find someone who specializes in what you’re working on. There are also websites like Psychology Today and Therapy Owl which can help you determine who you think would be able to help you. You can search by specialty or geographical area. Most therapists have free phone or in person consultations. This is where you can ask questions and get a feel for the therapist.

What can you talk about in therapy? Do you need to go through something horrible to go to therapy? No. No you do not. Regular life is pretty challenging sometimes, and even people who are otherwise pretty healthy can benefit from talking to an unbiased, attentive, trained therapist about what is stressing them out.

Once you’re in therapy try to open up to your therapist as much as you can. The more you share about your struggles the more we can help with the challenges you are facing. And it is normal to not feel 100% open at first!

Hopefully this overview of what to look for in a therapist and some basic definitions of the acronyms of therapy help to guide you in finding the right provider. Please reach out if you have any questions, or if you’d like to schedule a free consult with any of us at Seattle EMDR Associates.

(Written by Laura Wood. Photo by youssef naddam on Unsplash)